More Gary Coleman..Part 2

Another thing about the younger aforementioned sister is that not only did she LOVE Gary Coleman she wanted in his fan club.  She wrote him letters extolling his coolness.  She sent him letters professing her love.  She regaled her adoration of him with many a correspondence.   However, she was never able to enter into his fan club.  ;-(  She never had the money and our mom wasn't the kind to lend us money to join fan clubs.  Aargh!  Instead of entering the fan club she just composed letter and sent them to him in hopes that she would receive an autographed picture.  She never did, poor thing.  *Note: Gary Coleman if you are reading this please send my sister an autographed picture.*


Once she even sent him a pencil with her letters.  Not that Gary Coleman couldn't have afforded a pencil at the time (which we know he couldn't nowadays) but she did it so she could have a bond with him—be closer to him—the pencil had been chewed and had her teeth marks in it.  Yes, that would make them one......Ick.  True Story.  I would provide you with the real identity of that sister but as she has a family now it may make her angry and tarnish her reputation with them as they don't know of her sordid past....

*Note:  After I wrote this, the little sister corrected me and said my recollection wasn't exactly 100% accurate.  It wasn't a chewed up pencil like the illustration.  In fact it was a pencil that she had bitten the eraser and when she bit the eraser she had gum in her mouth.  So then the chewing gum became entwined around the chewed up eraser and THAT is what she sent to Gary Coleman.  Also, I will add this because she also informed me that she no longer likes Gary Coleman because she isn't 8 years old anymore. 

How to Lie to Your Sister To Watch What You Want on TV

My younger sister loved Gary Coleman.  It was rather annoying actually.  She made us watch “Different Strokes” three times a weekday evening (5, 5:30 and 7 pm—No shit).  It was the mid-1980's and there weren't many shows in rerun status yet besides 3's Company and Silver Spoons so they just stacked them up on the stupid basic cable channels.  It was horrible!  But there was no “On-demand” programming so we just accepted it and didn't know better and just watched whatever was on.  However, sometimes we got really tired of watching frickin' Different Strokes three times a night.  One tv – 5 kids sharing it (not including the twins as they were little and got to be upstairs and watch the big tv with my parents while the rest of us hovered around the tv and dubzed the best spots for tv watching—dubzing is another story for another time).  Cable was expensive and we didn't have cable in our rooms yet.  We still had that tan box with the channels listed on top and a slider that switched the channels and it clicked when you moved it.  

Anyway, this sister who loved Gary Coleman was the youngest sister (with the exception of the twins again but there was an 8 year difference so she was still the baby) and whatever she wanted—she got.  She was loud if she didn't get her way.  She could make everyone's life hell.  She would pretend to cry and say that one of us hurt her and then Mom would yell and threaten to beat us—so the only way we could watch what we wanted:  LIE.  Yes, that is right: LIE.

Here is the lie and the set-up we used.  The little sister would retire to her room to play with cabbage patch kids between 6 and 7 pm.  Upon her return around 7 pm we would begin to be a little louder and exclaim loudly so as to attract her attention. When she would enter the room she would be confused as to why we were crying and consoling each.  We would then say (here is the lie part):  “Didn't you hear?”  or “They just broke in with a message” and she would say “About What??”  Our response, “Gary Coleman just died.”  Then as she stood there sobbing we would tell her how sorry we were and within a minute or two she would retreat back to said bedroom to blubber uncontrolled for the next half hour or so and we could watch a tv show that wasn't Different Strokes. 

 Eventually, our mom would come downstairs to check on us—notice the absence of the littlest one and go and find her and then scream at us and threaten us with the wooden spoon—or the little one would want a hug, go upstairs and while weeping ask our Mother for a hug, tell her what had transpired and our cover would be blown.  There were a number of ways this could all fall into play because we actually used this gang mentality form of younger sister mental abuse a number of times to suit our fancy. It may have been a tad mean but it was 4 against 1 and she was only 8 years old and 8 year olds are easy to trick.  Oh, I hear ya...Come on, you'd do it to.... Whatcha talkin' 'bout Willis?

May 28th, 2010:  Update.  Gary Coleman passed away today.     I called my sister after I heard and she answered the phone by saying "I know.  He died for real this time."  RIP Gary.  I will always have fond memories of you and tormenting my sister.   Thanks for the memories!  We will all miss you.